FreeHour
- 2 min read

Sex & First Times: Let's Not Be Afraid To Talk About It

Why We Should Talk About Sex

There’s a lot of shame & taboo surrounding sex which makes people afraid to talk about it.

Parents avoid speaking about sex to young people out of fear that it will prompt them to have more sex. And education systems only mention sex in relation to reproduction or Sexually Transmitted Infections & Diseases.

However, the reality is that young people are going to have sex. Not speaking about it just keeps them in the dark. So, to promote safe sex, we need to educate people & have these difficult conversations, instead of shying away from it & pretending like it doesn’t happen.

Virginity & Your First Time

You might feel like getting your 1st time over & done with, which is understandable. There’s a lot of social pressure to ‘do it’.

But really, what matters is how you feel. You get to determine how to lose your virginity.

Sex is an experience shared with another person. But you need to make sure that are comfortable & ready to do this & that you’re not being forced into it by someone else.

Plus, it doesn’t matter at what age you have sex for the 1st time. Everyone at their own pace!

Sexual consent is:

Clear
Ongoing
Coherent
Voluntary

Silence isn't consent. Never assume you have consent.

The Movies & Porn

Movies sometimes set unrealistic expectations surrounding sex. They make it seem like it ‘just happens’ spontaneously, without any mention of consent or needing to get ready.

Porn also creates similar issues. People can form unhealthy dependencies on it, which can then impact real-world relationships. It can also objectify people as just sexual objects.

In reality, sex takes a lot of preparation & communication. If you’re having sex frequently with different partners, you should also be getting frequently tested for Sexual Transmitted Infections (STIs) & Diseases (STDs).

Experimenting With Your Sexuality

There’s the stigma that using sex toys & masturbating is either dirty or wrong. Older generations may consider these things as immoral since sex should only be reserved for after marriage or for having children.

However, masturbation is healthy for you since it helps you become more comfortable with your body, builds self-esteem & improves your relationship with yourself.

Start off slow & see what makes you feel good. You won’t know unless you try! It’s important to keep yourself engaged with new things too.

Sex toys are a good way to experiment.

Be comfortable with yourself before exploring

yourself with someone else

Communicate Openly

Sex is more about the 2 people involved than the sex itself. Communicating is essential for any relationship. The same applies to sex.

Communication ensures that you & your partner are on the same page & that no one is getting hurt. If you don’t feel comfortable, voice it.

Moreover, ask your partner what they like or don’t like. If you want to try something different, communicate that instead of shying away.

So yeah, sex isn’t everything. But there’s a lot that goes into it. The aim is to try & make people feel more valued & cared for - whatever you aim to do.